So, you can imagine my disappointment when I heard our Realtor tell us that our house was probably going to sell for much less than we had anticipated. Apparently the market isn't as alive as it was when we bought the house. Although houses are selling again, they aren't selling for as much as they did even three years ago. Dane and I were prepared to break even on the sale of our house, but our Realtor was now telling us that we needed to be prepared to lose money. Breaking even couldn't be our goal, instead walking away as unscathed as possible would be our new one.
After some tears, frustration, and talking over our options we came to the conclusion that our only viable option is to, yep you guessed it...wait.
When I accepted this new job (an hour away from our home in St. Louis) we had not planned on moving so our savings was not prepared for that. We had some money set aside that we could put towards another house and had even been pre-approved for a home loan. But we certainly don't have enough to put towards another house AND put towards the cost of selling ours. It would not be a financially responsible decision in any way whatsoever.
So, we'll wait.
This has not been easy for me to accept. Remember when I said that I like plans? Appreciate knowing the next step? For me, this feels like running straight into a brick wall. Progress halted. Plans changed. Major setback.
So...naturally, I felt sorry for myself. Not moving now means spending 2 hours in the car everyday! It means losing that money to gas that could be going towards something else. It means staying in a house that we feel we've outgrown. It means changing my plans. It means waiting.
I got into work today not looking forward to having to interact with people and put on a cheery face. I don't want to be cheery. I'm frustrated and my plan is not working out like I had hoped it would. I'm having to make adjustments where I didn't want to. I'm having to change my course of action. I'm being told to wait.
And then...
My first session this morning slapped me upside the face. I swear, at times I learn more from my clients than they probably do from me. This client has not had an easy life. This client has experienced less stability, financial peace, love, safety, and nurturing than most people you will encounter on a daily basis. And yet, this client is always smiling. Seriously. And today, in the midst of sharing some frustrations this client looked at me and said, "But, you know, God is awesome and faithful in all ways."
What the?!?!?
I swear, God was using this client to speak to me. Such a blatant reminder when I was feeling so sorry for myself. Feeling so irritated, angry, confused and frustrated that God has told us to wait.
Just stop it, Mallory! God is awesome. God is faithful in ALL ways. He has told us to wait before and He has always proven that His timing is perfect...not mine.
So, we'll wait. I will continue to commute to a job I love. We will be more aggressive in putting money into our savings account. We will continue to pay the mortgage on our current home so that when we put in on the market again in (hopefully) a year will be in a better financial situation. We will make some minor improvements to the house. We will de-clutter a lot because I feel like I'm drowning in toys. We will PATIENTLY, JOYFULLY...wait.
God's time is always just in time.
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