This Too Shall Pass

***Disclaimer***
This post is a portrait of the real struggles of a mom and her trying preschooler. I don't want to paint a bad picture of my son and hesitated to post this because of that. But in the end felt that there is beauty in our struggles and maybe in sharing my own another mama will be encouraged. 

I keep having to remind myself that "this too shall pass." The season we are in right now won't last forever. And God's grace and peace are enough to get us through.

Three has been a hard year for Reed. Don't get me wrong..he's a great kid. He's thoughtful and loving. He's kind and funny. It's so much fun to be able to carry on a conversation with him. And he is so curious about everything! When it's good, it's really good. But when it's bad...oh boy.

When he was about two I began to realize that we probably had what they call a "strong-willed" or "spirited" child on our hands. He is a bit more intense, more persistent, more energetic, more aware of justice, more, more, more. He doesn't just throw a tantrum. He throws a tantrum. I've since learned that these are what they call "spill over" tantrums. His emotions have been bottled up and then something sets him off and they just spill over and he's no longer rational or in control. For Reed it culminates in a lot of anger that subsides to lots of tears. The best thing to do is allow him to safely express these emotions and try (try really hard) not to lose our cool ourselves.
So, three has been hard. But three has been even harder since Claire has arrived. He LOVES his little sister so stinkin' much. She is the first thing he wants to see in the morning and he showers her with kisses and hugs throughout the day. But he's struggling with the fact that she gets any attention at all. And unfortunately, he had a really rough day at his sitter's last week.
Now, Dane and I have seen this before but he usually reserves this behavior just for us (lucky us, huh?). So, to hear that he had acted that way in front of her was hard. As a mom I felt so responsible for this behavior and it was even worse because I didn't (and still don't) have a solution. There are things that work sometimes but at other times only serve to make the situation worse.
So I met with her the next morning while Reed was at preschool. I remember texting Dane and saying that I was nervous to talk to her because I didn't have a solution and wasn't sure what to say. I just wanted to make it clear that we were working on one. That we aren't just letting this behavior exist without addressing it. That she has permission to discipline him and that if ever there is a day like that again she needs to call me. We also reminded ourselves that Reed has had a new sister, changed babysitters, started preschool and is aware that our house is on the market and we hope to move soon. That's a lot of change in a few short months!
The conversation went really well and I think we both felt better after.
For the next couple of days I cried a lot. I prayed a lot. And then I started to think about what I know about Reed and what he needs. He is a kinesthetic learner. He needs to be constantly stimulated (I'm not exaggerating when I say that in all his life I'm not sure that he's sat still for longer than 20 minutes at a time unless he's asleep). He likes to feel responsible and thinks of himself as a much bigger kid than he actually is. He has no problem in preschool or Sunday school because he's allowed to explore, play, and create.
Taking this into consideration, I decided that the first thing we would do was create an "activity box" for him to take to his sitter's. We gathered some things from around the house (Legos, play doh, cars) and then headed to Target to explore their $1 section. After getting some coloring books, paints, and dinosaurs we packed up his box and brought it with him on Monday. This seemed to help and kept his curiosity engaged. I'm so glad for this, and I also know that I will need to rotate activities out of this box because he will soon grow bored with his current options.
I also gathered some tips and tricks of things that work most of the time(some from me and Dane and some from Gma Pat who watches him on Fridays) to take to his sitter in the hopes that they will work for her too.
Some good friends and family reminded me over and over again that they were praying, and that Reed is such an awesome kid. And that a lot of the characteristics that are challenging now will serve him greatly in the future. It was so good to have that encouragement.
So, that's where we are. This week has been better. I know it's a day to day thing and that we just need to remain consistent and make sure he knows just how much he's loved. At the end of the day that's really what matters.
And the things I cherish in my heart are moments like these:

Last week we took Claire to her 4 month check-up and while in the waiting room Reed noticed a girl (about 6 or 7) crying on her mom's lap. He found a book that he likes to read with me at home and brought it over to the girl saying "here, this will make you feel better."

Reed asks about Grandma Rhonda a lot. A few weeks ago he asked if I miss her. I told him I miss her everyday. He asked why and I explained that she was my mommy and I miss her  because I never get to see her or talk to her. A bit later he came over and hugged me and said "mama, I'm hugging you because you miss your mommy." He continues to do this randomly....as if he just knows when I need the extra love.

And when he prays at night...the things he thanks God for are sometimes so funny ("God, thank you for my lawn mower") and sometimes so sweet ("God thank you for giving me a little sister. I just love her so much.")
He is so sensitive to the feelings of others. His heart is big. We are blessed to be his parents.

And Miss Claire is 4 months old today!!! She is in the 90% for her length and weight (25in,  16.3lbs) and is already rolling over from both tummy and back. She's still a rock star sleeper and still such a smiley, sweet, easy baby. Upon hearing that she is rolling over and starting to laugh her doctor stated, "Well, I just think she's really trying to tell us that we don't need to worry about her brain development. Not only is she doing well, but she's even a little ahead!" She will have another MRI at 6 months...but so far so good!
When I look at her I am reminded of God's promise of peace. He really is so good to us.

 4 months!!!

 A Culver's ice cream beard and beautiful brown eyes :)

 1st Day of Preschool

She thinks he's hilarious

So, in summary...

• We have two great kids. 
• I'm challenging myself to look at each day with a glass half full perspective (sometimes this is hard!). 
• God's grace and peace are enough. 
• This too shall pass.

I'm so excited to see the kind of man Reed turns out to be...but I don't want that day to come too quickly ;)