Can I Pray Away My Crazy?

Two posts in one week?!?!? You guys are so lucky.
I know this is a blog primarily about my son, but I love to write and often am able to sort through my thoughts when I can put pen to paper (or fingers to keys in this case).
Most of you know that I am a mental health counselor at a Christian college. Today marks the last day of my first school year here and I've had some time to reflect on some of the stuff I've learned. One of the things that came up more than once this year was this statement:
"I was hesitant to come to counseling because I thought that if I just prayed enough I would start to feel better."
I've also had students flat out ask:
"As a Christian, how do you explain/see mental illness?"
So, I wanted to share with my vast readership my thoughts on this.
Let me give you some background (bear with me)...
Yes, I am a Christian. I grew up in a Christian home and went to a Christian college (the very one I work at now). I chose at a young age to follow Christ and through the trial of losing my mom realized just how important it is to store my hope in Him. It was through this season of watching my mom suffer from cancer and eventually pass away from it that I found my calling to pursue a career in the mental health field. This has taken many turns. I started out with the plan become a guidance counselor at a middle school. After completing a short practicum with a play therapist I decided that I wanted to be a therapist. I graduated with a degree in psychology and began a Master's in Social Work program the following fall. In my last semester I decided that I love the world of education and that being a school social worker was what I wanted to pursue. I first worked with a company that did school based group therapy for students identified as high risk for substance abuse. Then I began work as a school social worker at a start-up charter school in the city of St. Louis. That was tough work! During this time I completed the licensure process to become a clinical social worker which would allow me to be a therapist.
As I was growing more and more frustrated with the school I was working at and feeling less and less hopeful that a school social work job would become available at another school in St. Louis, I checked GC's job listings on a whim. And wouldn't you know it? They were looking for a new counselor.
I fully believe that God has called me to not only be a counselor, but to be a counselor at GC.
Now that you know the background I can share with you why I believe in the importance of mental health care providers. Yes, it's how I get paid, but it's so much more than that.
Let me first say that I do believe in the power of prayer. Can someone simply pray and pray sincerely and faithfully that God will take their burden of mental illness away? Certainly. And I believe that in some cases, He will. But is mental illness a direct result of sin in a person's life? No. Do you think that cancer is? Or any other physical disability?
I do believe that pain and suffering and illness in general are all a result of man's sinful nature. We sin and have therefore fallen short of the Glory of God. We are corrupt and as sin has entered our world, bad things do happen...even to good people. But the good news here is that God has placed on earth people who He has called to help those who are struggling (physically, mentally, academically, etc.). Since I believe that I have been called to help people who are suffering mentally I do NOT believe that what I do is unnecessary. God has given me a gift of not only sympathizing with others but empathizing. In fact, my top spiritual gift is Mercy, with Discernment not too far behind. These mean that I am compassionate, a quick judge of character, and discern the needs of others well. Sound like great qualities to have in a counselor to me!
So, to boil this down, I believe that mental illness is real and that therapists are people who God has provided to help those in need. I also believe that prayer and drawing nearer to Him are absolutely necessary in order for someone to achieve complete healing and peace. He is the Prince of Peace, after all.
In my opinion, counseling alone will not bring you the freedom from mental illness you desire. Sometimes you need medication. Sometimes you need to make better decisions about your lifestyle and who you surround yourself with. And at all times you need to be praying and seeking a closer relationship with the ultimate Healer.

***interested in finding your own spiritual gifts? take this free online test. took me about 10 mins. http://www.spiritualgiftstest.com/index.html 
 

In the Midst of Rolling Prairies...

This weekend I participated in the 2013 graduation ceremony at GC. In 2007 I participated as a graduate, so it was fun for me to be on the other side of it, joining in on the celebration from the viewpoint of an employee.
I don't remember much from my graduation. I have no idea who spoke or what honors were awarded to which students. I don't even think I attended my baccalaureate. The one thing that I do remember (and don't think I'll ever forget) was that after we had gotten lined up and began our walk across campus for the last time as students, our professors and staff were lined up on either side of the walkway clapping for us. It was so special and surprising to walk through this tunnel made up of people I admired and had learned from for the past 4 years...and they were so clearly proud of me and clapping for my accomplishments! I'm sure I fought back tears.
So, this year I got to be a part of that clapping tunnel as a member of the GC team. It was awesome! And to make it that much sweeter, my sister in law, Darci, was the very last graduate to walk through. As she approached me I was able to step out of my place in the tunnel and give her a hug.
Speaking of Darci...I am so proud of that girl. I met Darci when she was just barely 13 years old, quiet, and  reserved. Now she is a  young woman who speaks up for what she believes in and leads others quietly and assuredly. She graduated with a double major in History/Political Science and Social Work. She was in the honor societies for both and graduated magna cum laude. In addition to being a stellar student she was a four year athlete, an RC, and member of a team that work with a young autistic boy in the community almost daily. She was a TA and member of the student senate as well. I'm not sure what she didn't do and I'm super  proud of her accomplishments. In August she will begin a Master's in Social Work program and in September she will marry her high school sweetheart.
Speaking of her high school sweetheart...Trevor also graduated this year with several honors. He too was a double major in Communications and History/Poli Sci. He too graduated magna cum laude and was a member of both of his major's honor societies. He completed and successfully defended an honors thesis and was a member of the honors program here at GC. He too was a four year athlete and ran the 10k at Christian Nationals this year. He was on student government and involved in other things that I'm sure I'm missing.
Aren't they just two peas in a pod? And they are both so humble too. I'm super excited about their wedding and eager to see where God leads them.
And a final clarification...a few people, seeing me in my graduation regalia, told me "Congratulations!" or said, "You graduated too?" No, I did not graduate. Employees participating in the ceremony are asked to wear their regalia. Academia if full of tradition and symbolism, so what we wear represents our education. I wear a funny gown that has fins or wings on the sleeves (a great place to stash a cell phone) to represent having a Master's degree and a hood whose colors represent my degree (Social Work) and school (SIUE). The yellow cord I wear represents that I graduated with honors. I don't have to wear this, but I earned it...so, why not? I opted not to wear my cap so as not to be mistaken for a 12 year old boy.

 Trevor, me, Darci

 Reed was super excited to see Uncle Trevor and Aunt Darci. He thought Papa's hat was pretty cool, too. 

See? Here he is wearing Papa's hat. Maybe one day he will be Dr. Sample.

Congrats to the GC grads of 2013 and special congrats to my favorites, Darci and Trev. Love you guys. Now, should we all sing the Alma Mater next time we get together? Hail all Hail, Greenville! 

I Know It's Not Father's Day, But...

I realize that it isn't Father's Day, however, I've just been feeling super blessed in regards to the men in mine and Reed's lives lately and I felt the urge to deliver a shout out a bit early.

It makes sense to me to start with the guy who set the standard of what a guy should be in my life. I call him Dad, Daddio, Faja, Pops, (yes, I'm a dork, but that's a discussion for another time). He also goes by Papa to his three sweet grandkids. My dad is super awesome. Here are just a few of the countless reasons why...

• He assigned funny nicknames to me and my brothers when we were young. My older brother was "Bonzi Boy", I was "Baby Cakes", and my little bro was "Moon Doggie " I have no idea where he came up with these names and mine was the only one that stuck.
• He used to be a paramedic so he knows a lot about medical stuff and doesn't freak out if you break your wrist, for instance. 
• He attended every swim meet, baseball game, cross country meet, football game, wrestling meet, choir/band concert...well, you get the picture. He was at everything. He was often times the coach of the team, but even when not the official coach, he was our coach. 
•  Every time I go to his office there are more pictures of his kids and grandkids. He is clearly quite proud of us all. 
• He reads for fun.
• One time, I locked the keys to my car/dorm in the trunk of my car after returning to campus from a weekend at home. It was a Sunday night. My dad had to work the next day. I called him, upset and embarrassed. He told me he'd be there in an hour to unlock my car. No complaints. No hard feelings. No guilt trip. He just showed up. He always shows up.  
• He loves the Lord and shared that love with his kids and now his grandkids. He is always trying to be the best man of God he can be. He doesn't worry because he has complete peace that the Lord has gone before him and will always meet his needs. 
• He loved my mom in the best kind of way.

He's pretty awesome, right?

Now on to Reed's dad and my main squeeze, Dane. Again, I got pretty lucky in the husband/father-of-my-child department.

• Dane is the calm to my worry. 
• He is the relaxed to my uptight. 
• He is the slightly-less-introverted to my very introverted. 
• In many ways he balances me.
• One of the biggest things that Dane does for me is letting me "sleep in" on Saturdays. Ever since we brought Reed home from the hospital, Dane has been the one to get up with him every Saturday morning. I don't know how this started and I don't know why he does it. I get to stay in bed while he gets up around 6 am, makes Reed scrambled eggs, and watches some morning cartoons (usually Caillou, which is yet another sacrifice). I am not bothered to get out of bed until close to 8 am. I have no idea why he gives me this gift (because it truly is a gift) but it's one that I appreciate so very much. 
• He makes me laugh. Even when I don't want to. 
• He's a good guy to have in your corner. 
• He doesn't try to make me be someone I'm not ("he loves me for me" sounds a bit too corny, but is basically what I mean)
• He does the dishes and cleans the bathroom (jealous?)

He's such a great dad, too.

• He is willing to learn and grow as a parent as Reed learns and grows. 
• He loves teaching Reed new things and spending time with him outdoors. 
• He reads with Reed.
• He gives Reed his bath every night. 
• He gets down on the floor with him. 
• He loves Reed so much and is sad when he is sad.
• He gets so excited thinking of the adventures they can have together as Reed gets older. 
• He prays with Reed and invites Reed to pray. 
• He admits when he is wrong and apologizes when necessary. 

Reed is a lucky guy to have such a wonderful Daddy...

I could continue writing about all the other great men in our lives but I am afraid I might leave someone out and offend them. Suffice it to say that they are a plenty. We have been richly blessed with examples of self-less, smart, caring, funny, talented, Godly men. I can't even begin to express my thankfulness. Both mine and Reed's lives have been so greatly influenced by a host of these wonderful men. It warms my heart to the core. I wish I had pictures of them all, but here are a few...

 

Thank you guys for not only investing in my life but in my son's life as well.