9 Months

Or alternately titled: How is my baby already almost one?!?!
Or: Claire is packing up for college...

Claire is almost 23 pounds and is 28.5 inches. This puts her in the 90% for weight and the 80% for height.
She is crawling like a pro now and pulling herself up to standing and cruising along furniture. She wants so badly to be able to stand unassisted and often tries to let go of whatever is supporting her. The longest she's been able to do that is about 7 seconds.
She had her first cold and is just now getting over it. Turns out she also had a double ear infection the doctor found at her 9 month appointment. Girl was down right pleasant for having a double ear infection! So, we're treating that now and she's getting back to her old self.
We met with the sleep specialist too and she gave us a great plan to put into place to get Claire sleeping through the night. And wouldn't you know it...ever since we met with the dr. Claire has been waking only once. And this waking has been happening later and later. Stinker.

In March, Claire will have her first nights away from mom and dad. Dane and I will head down to the Lake of the Ozarks for my annual social work conference and Reed and Claire will have their vacation at Papa and Pat's. I'm sure she'll do just fine, but it's always a little bittersweet when leaving your baby for their first few days away from you.
For Valentine's Day, Dane and I got Reed tickets to go to Lego KidsFest when it comes to St. Louis in March. Unfortunately it falls on the dates that we'll be out of town, so he gets to go with Papa. He loves creating things with Lego's so I'm sure he'll have an absolute blast. I'm excited to hear all about it.

The cold winter days are keeping us in doors lately, so there's not much to say other than we're surviving and looking forward to spring.

Until next time :)

Enough About the Kids...It's My Milestone!

I realize that most of my readers enjoy this blog because I talk about my ridiculously cute and intelligent kids and post wonderful pictures of them. So, if that's what you value then this post isn't for you, because I'm talking about my own milestone.

Through so much hard work of my own, I am turning 30!

It's true. On February 1, 2015 at 8:48 am I will be 30 years old. And so, this has caused me to reflect on my 20's and become all sappy about what my 30's will  bring and think about my mom who was in her 30's when she was diagnosed with cancer. And it has kind of frustrated me. I love birthdays (mostly my kid's and loved ones) and my rational mind realizes that it's just another year. There is nothing magical about 30 that will bring about great fortune or ridiculous ruin to my family. But, nonetheless, emotionally 30 is proving to be a bit difficult for me.

Let's start with reflection...
In my 20's I:
got married, graduated from college, got my master's degree, and became a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (first in MO and then a few years later in IL).
Participated in the Susan G. Komen 3 Day walk in FL.
Bought my first house and 9 months later, became a mom.
Held 3 jobs within my chosen field.
Bought a car.
Became an aunt...3 times!
Drove to PA with some of my family to bury my Gma next to her parents.
Had my second child.

I'm sure there's stuff I'm forgetting. 10 years is a lot to remember. But really, my 20's weren't all that bad. Sure, there were some really tough seasons to walk through (unexpectedly losing my Gma and my pregnancy with Claire to name a couple), but God is good and He provided what we needed to sustain us.

I grew up in my 20's. Maybe most people do. Getting married and having kids tends to do that to a person I assume. But more than growing up as a person, I think I grew up in my faith. I entered my 20's with some strict parameters on faith and what it looks like. And (in large part to my college years at GC) as I leave my 20's I can safely say that I can boil my faith down to this: love God, and in doing so, love others.
For me, faith is about love. It's not complicated, it's not judgmental, it doesn't force thoughts and beliefs on others. It is tolerant and forgiving and loving.
I recently read a book by Glennon Doyle Melton. In this book she says:
Be confident because you are a child of God. 
Be humble, because everyone else is too. 
I love that. It definitely challenged me to reevaluate how I love the people that frustrate me most. Those people who I find it hardest to love (we all have them). I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter how they make me feel, or that I don't understand their actions because God loves them...so I do too. I want to be an agent of love through my faith.
And guess what guys? When you focus on loving others, life gets easier. It becomes easier to forgive. It becomes easier to have quality relationships. You're happier because you're not spending time judging others or holding actions against people. No, you won't be perfect and some will make it much more difficult than others. But I promise, it's worth it to at least give it a try.
So, in my 30's I will say this: Because I love God, I will love others.
And I pray that my kids will see that in me and desire do to the same.

I mentioned earlier that as I approach 30, I've been thinking about how young my mom really was when she got sick. I was in high school and can remember hearing other people commenting on how young she was. At the time I didn't really think about it. She was my mom after all...she wasn't young. I mean she wasn't old, but definitely not young. But now? Now, I am less than a decade away from the age she was when she was first diagnosed. And guess what guys...I'm not old. Really. I'm not. 30 is the new 20 after all.
Some of you reading this know that when I turned 28 I had to start having mammograms every 6 months. My mom was 38 when first diagnosed and because I am high risk, the rule of thumb is that I needed to begin doing this when I was ten years younger than when she was diagnosed. So, 28 was my magic number.
The first couple of times were no big deal. I mean, it's uncomfortable, but I wasn't really too worried about anything. Then, July happened. I went in and they did the mammogram. Shortly after, someone came out and took me to an ultrasound room. As they did the ultrasound I kept thinking "they've never been this thorough before..." After the ultrasound they determined that I needed to go ahead and do another mammogram (lucky me!). I finally asked the doctor what they were looking for/at and she explained that they had found something in my right breast. Gulp.
Claire was with me because I needed to nurse before having the mammogram(s). So, the doctor left me in this ultrasound room to nurse Claire again before the next one. I was alone otherwise and as I looked at Claire, I cried. I wasn't crying because I might have cancer...the tears were for her. They were for Reed and Dane. If I did have cancer...what would it do to them? I couldn't leave them. I couldn't put them through this.
And it hit me just how scared my mom...who was young...must have been for us.
(luckily my "something" was determined to be a cyst often found in nursing moms).
And so now, I ridiculously become an emotional mess the week prior to the mammograms. It kinda sucks. I don't think I was expecting to have to confront my mom's death in different ways as I got older. I foolishly believed that I had accepted it and could just live my life in peace. I know that some of this is because I'm a woman and a mom just like her. I can empathize with how she felt because it's exactly how I would feel. I get that unique look into my mom's head and heart. It's painful, but it's also good. It's a connection. And for those of us who have lost a parent (or other loved one)...connections are good, even if they're painful.

So, I'm turning 30. And I will enter my 30's with thanksgiving, with love, and with a stronger connection to my mom even though she's not here to celebrate with me. My 30's will be great. They will be tough and scary and wonderful and filled with love.
Here's to 30. The good, the bad, and everything in between.

7 Months

Now that Claire is a week away from being 8 months old (seriously?!?!) it seems to be the perfect time to write her 7 month blog. In my defense, 7 months fell just after Reed's 4th  birthday and just before Christmas. It kind of got lost in the hustle and bustle of December. I believe you all will forgive me.
Here are some bullet points:

• first Christmas went well
• she's super close to crawling. seriously...any day now. 
• she's eating more solids 
• she's "talking" a bunch more
• she's still got the best smile and thighs that won't quite
• she's still super cute and I doubt that this will be changing. 

And she's lucky she's so cute...because she has forgotten how to sleep through the night. The problems started when she was about 6 months old. At first we attributed it to teething. And maybe that's what started it (she has 2 teeth), but now, she won't go back to sleeping for a stretch longer than 4 hours. It's rough.
I reached out to some friends for advice/prayer and one of them who struggled with sleep issues with her own son suggested that we meet with a sleep specialist. They did and within two weeks their son was sleeping 10 hours in a row at night. At this point I can't even imagine....
She gave us the information of the one they met with and you better believe that I called the next day and set up an appointment. I don't mess around with sleep, y'all.
The bad part is that the appointment isn't until mid-February. So, unless Claire miraculously remembers how awesome it is to sleep through the night, we're looking at at least another month of this.
Praise the Lord for coffee.

(pics are in reverse order..newest to oldest..refer above to my lack of sleep, resulting in little energy, making tasks like reorganizing these pics of little importance)

 Group pic as we said "see ya later and good luck" to Tyler who left for LA today. 

 Standing up is one of her favorites right now. 

 Squishy face. 

 Tea party on Christmas morning. 

 Christmas Eve. 

 It's all fun and games until your brother unbuckles you when mom isn't looking and you fall down between the seat and the steering wheel screaming and when your mom asks your brother why he did that he replies "because I wanted to have an adventure." Mission accomplished then. 

7 months. 

Reed is FOUR!!!

Yesterday Reed turned 4 years old. Gone is the baby and in place is a little boy. Bittersweet for sure. I'm so glad that he's growing up and that he's becoming independent and his own little person. And at the same time it's hard to accept that soon he won't want to kiss me goodbye or need me to lay in bed with him before he goes to sleep.

He had a great birthday. When he woke, we sang happy birthday to him and he got to open two presents. The first was his birthday outfit and the second was a gift that had arrived in the mail a couple of days earlier from Oma and Opa. He'd been itching to open it since it arrived and was so excited when he did. He is really into a show on Netlflix called Rescue Bots (it's a Transformer's show) and Oma and Opa had sent him Transformers! He played with them  until it was time to leave and then brought them along for his show and tell item at preschool.

At preschool he was given a birthday crown to wear and brought cupcakes to share with his friends. He and I went out for birthday lunch (he picked DQ) and then his babysitter took him to the gym to play around for the rest of the afternoon.

At home he opened the rest of his gifts and was most excited about his new string trimmer and lawn service shirt (which he promptly put on and then requested to sleep in as well). He picked mini meatloaves and mashed potatoes for his birthday dinner and blew out his 4 candles on a Hostess cupcake. And all evening he kept telling me and Dane, "Thank you for thinking of me mama and daddy. That was so kind." He has such a sweet heart.

On Saturday we will have family over for his birthday party. I will try my hand at making cupcakes and icing from scratch. So I apologize in advance to anyone who has to eat them ;) He requested baseball cupcakes and lawnmower cupcakes. I'm confident I can pull this off. Talk to me on Friday night and that story might have changed.

Some pics:

 Excited about his Transformers. Can you tell? 

 Showing his sister how the string trimmer works. 

She's gotta know this stuff if she's gonna be his assistant like he plans. 

 Birthday lunch. 

Love this pic of him. Captures a lot of his personality. 

 Stud. 

Good looking group. My friend Danielle did a great job on our family pics this year. 

Dane and I continue to be blessed as Reed's parents. He challenges us and brings us much joy. His preschool teachers tell me how kind he is. He is so proud of his Claire Irene. He is full of life and curiosity about the world around him. He amazes me with his memory and his thoughtfulness (just the other day he gave his only quarter to a bell ringer without any prompting from me). I thank God that I'm his mom and look forward to seeing how he will use his gifts to bring glory to the Father. 

Happy 4th Birthday Speedy Reedy!!!

Half Birthday!!!

Claire is already 6 months old. Wow. Time is flying by so much faster than it seemed to with Reed. Before we know it, we'll be celebrating her birthday.
She will see her doctor on Friday, so I don't have her 6 month stats. Suffice it to say that I'm sure she has doubled her birth weight by now. She's a bit of a chunker. Carries it in her thighs.

She is sitting up unassisted for longer periods of time. She scoots around on her belly and if she's there long enough will even push up onto her knees for a bit. We've started her on some baby food, but haven't been super consistent. We'll have to start that now though. She's had peas (which she is not a super fan of) and applesauce (which she seems to like just fine). She's still not too sure what to make of the solid food though.

We will meet with the pediatric neurologist on Wednesday. After her initial MRI he wanted to see her at 6 months. We don't know if he'll order another MRI, but we're hopeful that he won't. Claire is showing no signs of concern whatsoever (Praise the Lord!) and continues to develop as a normal, healthy, happy, baby girl.

Reed has really come into stride as her big brother. It seems that the worst of his transition is over and he is just a really great kid to be around again. He's funny. He's kind. He's encouraging. He tells Claire how much he loves her and talks about how cute she is. She is "his Claire Irene."

Speaking of Reed...his 4th birthday is in two weeks! How do my kids keep growing up so fast?!?!?!

I'm excited to do the holidays with two kids this year. As a parent, the holidays definitely become more about the joy on your children's faces and getting to share with them why we celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas at all. Such a fun time and a great chance to make memories. Reed is already asking to make snow ice cream with Daddy again :)

6 Months!!!!

Those thighs. Seriously. 

Just being cute. 

Exploring with Daddy. 

Reed got to go to Mr. Ben's work. It was heaven. 

Speedy Reedy Lawn Service for his first trick or treating adventure. 

Dane and I continue to be blessed. 

5 Months

I cannot believe that Claire is already 5 months old. That makes her only one month away from 6 months! (impressive math skills, huh?).
She is still a chunky monkey with thighs that won't quit. She's still a rock star sleeper (although this week she's struggled a bit). She is still super chill (a trait obviously inherited from her father).
She is working really hard at sitting up unassisted.
She smiles a ton and laughs a lot too (mostly at her big brother).
She's tried some sweet potatoes, but I'm not really pushing solid foods at the moment. Her doctor says she's fine until 6 months, so I'm not putting too much pressure on myself right now to make that a part of her daily deal.
She went on her first camping trip last month. It was an adventure. Have you ever been camping with a 3 year old and a 4 month old? It really could have been worse, but just confirmed that I am not the camping type. In the future, this can be something Dane shares with the kids. I'll just find something else obviously much more awesome...any ideas?

Claire was also dedicated at church last week. We made a covenant before our church to raise her in the knowledge of the Lord. To pray for her and to teach her to pray. To love her as Christ loves us. And our church made a covenant to help us and support us in those efforts. Of course we will fail, but thank God for forgiveness and grace and the opportunities to show that to our kids as well.
My dad, Pat and Pop were able to attend and it was nice to share that with them.

Claire will have her 6 month check-up in November. She will also have another MRI (although this has yet to be scheduled). We continue to praise God for her completely "normal" development so far.

In other news...we took our house off of the market. We don't need to sell it and so when given the option of a price drop or taking it off the market, we chose the latter. We'll just try again in the spring...maybe. And since we're not moving right now, I've decided we need to do some small renovations (changing some paint colors, updating window treatments...) to liven the place up a bit. Dane's on board, so hopefully we can get started on some of that stuff next month.

Lots of pics for you today :)

 At a friends baby shower

 Bed head. 

 Working on sitting up

 Speedy Reedy's Lawn Service

 Dedication

Surprised him with lunch after preschool.

 Goofball.

 Love. 

 Camping

5 Months! 

This Too Shall Pass

***Disclaimer***
This post is a portrait of the real struggles of a mom and her trying preschooler. I don't want to paint a bad picture of my son and hesitated to post this because of that. But in the end felt that there is beauty in our struggles and maybe in sharing my own another mama will be encouraged. 

I keep having to remind myself that "this too shall pass." The season we are in right now won't last forever. And God's grace and peace are enough to get us through.

Three has been a hard year for Reed. Don't get me wrong..he's a great kid. He's thoughtful and loving. He's kind and funny. It's so much fun to be able to carry on a conversation with him. And he is so curious about everything! When it's good, it's really good. But when it's bad...oh boy.

When he was about two I began to realize that we probably had what they call a "strong-willed" or "spirited" child on our hands. He is a bit more intense, more persistent, more energetic, more aware of justice, more, more, more. He doesn't just throw a tantrum. He throws a tantrum. I've since learned that these are what they call "spill over" tantrums. His emotions have been bottled up and then something sets him off and they just spill over and he's no longer rational or in control. For Reed it culminates in a lot of anger that subsides to lots of tears. The best thing to do is allow him to safely express these emotions and try (try really hard) not to lose our cool ourselves.
So, three has been hard. But three has been even harder since Claire has arrived. He LOVES his little sister so stinkin' much. She is the first thing he wants to see in the morning and he showers her with kisses and hugs throughout the day. But he's struggling with the fact that she gets any attention at all. And unfortunately, he had a really rough day at his sitter's last week.
Now, Dane and I have seen this before but he usually reserves this behavior just for us (lucky us, huh?). So, to hear that he had acted that way in front of her was hard. As a mom I felt so responsible for this behavior and it was even worse because I didn't (and still don't) have a solution. There are things that work sometimes but at other times only serve to make the situation worse.
So I met with her the next morning while Reed was at preschool. I remember texting Dane and saying that I was nervous to talk to her because I didn't have a solution and wasn't sure what to say. I just wanted to make it clear that we were working on one. That we aren't just letting this behavior exist without addressing it. That she has permission to discipline him and that if ever there is a day like that again she needs to call me. We also reminded ourselves that Reed has had a new sister, changed babysitters, started preschool and is aware that our house is on the market and we hope to move soon. That's a lot of change in a few short months!
The conversation went really well and I think we both felt better after.
For the next couple of days I cried a lot. I prayed a lot. And then I started to think about what I know about Reed and what he needs. He is a kinesthetic learner. He needs to be constantly stimulated (I'm not exaggerating when I say that in all his life I'm not sure that he's sat still for longer than 20 minutes at a time unless he's asleep). He likes to feel responsible and thinks of himself as a much bigger kid than he actually is. He has no problem in preschool or Sunday school because he's allowed to explore, play, and create.
Taking this into consideration, I decided that the first thing we would do was create an "activity box" for him to take to his sitter's. We gathered some things from around the house (Legos, play doh, cars) and then headed to Target to explore their $1 section. After getting some coloring books, paints, and dinosaurs we packed up his box and brought it with him on Monday. This seemed to help and kept his curiosity engaged. I'm so glad for this, and I also know that I will need to rotate activities out of this box because he will soon grow bored with his current options.
I also gathered some tips and tricks of things that work most of the time(some from me and Dane and some from Gma Pat who watches him on Fridays) to take to his sitter in the hopes that they will work for her too.
Some good friends and family reminded me over and over again that they were praying, and that Reed is such an awesome kid. And that a lot of the characteristics that are challenging now will serve him greatly in the future. It was so good to have that encouragement.
So, that's where we are. This week has been better. I know it's a day to day thing and that we just need to remain consistent and make sure he knows just how much he's loved. At the end of the day that's really what matters.
And the things I cherish in my heart are moments like these:

Last week we took Claire to her 4 month check-up and while in the waiting room Reed noticed a girl (about 6 or 7) crying on her mom's lap. He found a book that he likes to read with me at home and brought it over to the girl saying "here, this will make you feel better."

Reed asks about Grandma Rhonda a lot. A few weeks ago he asked if I miss her. I told him I miss her everyday. He asked why and I explained that she was my mommy and I miss her  because I never get to see her or talk to her. A bit later he came over and hugged me and said "mama, I'm hugging you because you miss your mommy." He continues to do this randomly....as if he just knows when I need the extra love.

And when he prays at night...the things he thanks God for are sometimes so funny ("God, thank you for my lawn mower") and sometimes so sweet ("God thank you for giving me a little sister. I just love her so much.")
He is so sensitive to the feelings of others. His heart is big. We are blessed to be his parents.

And Miss Claire is 4 months old today!!! She is in the 90% for her length and weight (25in,  16.3lbs) and is already rolling over from both tummy and back. She's still a rock star sleeper and still such a smiley, sweet, easy baby. Upon hearing that she is rolling over and starting to laugh her doctor stated, "Well, I just think she's really trying to tell us that we don't need to worry about her brain development. Not only is she doing well, but she's even a little ahead!" She will have another MRI at 6 months...but so far so good!
When I look at her I am reminded of God's promise of peace. He really is so good to us.

 4 months!!!

 A Culver's ice cream beard and beautiful brown eyes :)

 1st Day of Preschool

She thinks he's hilarious

So, in summary...

• We have two great kids. 
• I'm challenging myself to look at each day with a glass half full perspective (sometimes this is hard!). 
• God's grace and peace are enough. 
• This too shall pass.

I'm so excited to see the kind of man Reed turns out to be...but I don't want that day to come too quickly ;)