Another school year is upon us here at GC. The students have arrived and classes have begun. It reminds me why I love working in the realm of education. So much learning and growing going on around me :)
This year, I had the honor of speaking to about 300 freshman and transfer students about the journey they are embarking on here at GC. Each year this group participates in a service project of some sort. This year they went off campus to float the Meramec River, cleaning up any trash left behind by weekend floaters and planting pecan trees along their way. I actually participated in this same river trip when I was a freshman at GC. After the float trip, students arrive at a very nice camp and then stay the night. It's an opportunity for them to be a bit outside of their comfort zone, meet other people and mingle with faculty and staff who attend the trip as well.
Traditionally, our campus chaplain delivers an address to them the following morning. This year, however, she had to bow out. After making the tough decision to remain on campus this year, she asked if I would deliver the address in her stead. Now, I have never talked to that many people at one time. I wanted so badly to say no, but I had recently been challenged by my boss to begin to emerge as more of a leader on campus this year. That's hard as the counselor, since so much of what I do is confidential and takes place behind closed doors...so while I was yelling at myself to say no, I heard God say, "but don't you want to be a leader? is this not an opportunity to do just that?" So, I chose to ignore myself and told her that I would do it.
Luckily, she was kind enough to share her notes from previous years with me so I didn't have to build the address from scratch. Phew! I was pretty nervous as I walked up to the podium, but I kept reminding myself that God had placed this opportunity in front of me and He would equip me with the confidence to get through it. And He did! It went well and I even had a couple students approach me afterwards and say as much. Dane told me I should have done worse because now they'll be asking me to speak at other events :) I don't know about that, but it was a great opportunity for me to be stretched outside of my comfort zone and trust in God's provision. I'm glad I did it.
Outside of that, nothing too exciting has been going on in our lives lately. Reed got to go to another Cardinal's game with Papa and Pat. He came back with new hat, a fred bird stuffed animal (this was the giveaway at the gate), and a new bat for his collection.
Lately, he's been bringing up Grandma Rhonda a lot. He draws pictures of and for her. He asks if we can go visit her in heaven. Then, he asks why we can't go visit her in heaven. I both love and hate this. I love that he is interested in knowing her, but I hate that he can't actually know her. I love that he asks about her,  but I hate that he can't understand why he can't see her. I'm not sure if I'm responding to his questions correctly and it sucks that he just really can't understand right now. It's really tough. Most of the time I keep myself composed and don't really let it get to me. But sometimes, I have to fight back tears and begin to feel sorry for myself. After all, she should be here. He should know her. I shouldn't have to try to explain to a 2 year old why he can't go visit his grandma in heaven.
I do look forward to when he does understand and I am able to talk to him about her and what a wonderful woman she was.
Enough of that sad stuff...here are some pics:

 We went to Springfield for the State Fair...Reed wanted to take a look at the bean field across the street from Grandpa's. 

 Grandpa's motorcycle.

 Exploring the woods behind Grandpa's with dad. 

 Just being crazy.

Making a butterfly that he would later name "special"

I can't believe that September is just a few days away. September will bring us Dane's birthday as well as Aunt Darci's birthday and wedding!!! Reed's gonna make quite the handsome ring bearer. Fun stuff headed our way. 

In Which I Explain Why Water Is So Important To Me

I was thinking on my drive into work today (dangerous, I know.) It was foggy and clearly on the brink of raining. Rain got me thinking of water. Water got me thinking of swimming. And swimming got me all nostalgic.

Let me back up a bit (and this is gonna be long)...


I can not remember a time that I was ever afraid of the water. When my older brother and I were about six and seven my parents decided to sign us up for a competitive swim team. Both of us had done really well in swim lessons and seemed so comfortable in the water that it just seemed to make sense. My mom had been a swimmer as a child/teenager and thought we might enjoy it as much as she had.

We started with the team in the summer. Summer swim teams are a little less competitive and a bit more relaxed and fun. We practiced every morning, so early that the water was still cold and was a shock to the system when you jumped in. I never felt like I didn't belong. I never felt like I wasn't good enough. I swam for my best time and I swam for my team.

My bro and I must have done well and enjoyed it enough because we didn't stop swimming when summer ended. We joined the winter league which was a lot more intense and required a bigger commitment. Every day after school we would drop our school bags and grab our swim bags. Then we'd head right back out the door. Our mom would bring us to practice and our dad would meet her there. Most nights she would then go home to get dinner ready and then dad would take us home. We'd eat together, do homework, and then I would often get my hair rinsed out in the sink by my mom so it didn't turn green. At least one weekend a month was dedicated to a swim meet. Unlike summer when meets lasted a few hours and could be held in an evening, these meets lasted 2 days, beginning at 7am and closing down around 6pm. There were hundreds of swimmers and many teams represented. These meets were for serious swimmers only. Those just seeking to simply "have fun" need not apply.

Don't get me wrong. It was fun. My best friends were the girls that I swam with. We had an awesome relay and a coach who called us his girls. When we walked to our starting block he would yell out to us and we would strike a pose showing our muscles (we were like 10...it was cute). I wasn't just ok, I was actually good. I usually raced in the A heat (the fastest) and once, when I missed my heat because I wasn't paying attention or something, they allowed me to swim in the boys heat and I beat them all! It was the slowest boys heat, but I was just a little girl and I beat the boys! Needless to say, they weren't too happy about that.

I'm sure there were times when I would have rather just plopped on the couch to watch TV after school instead of dragging my booty to practice, but I was in killer shape. When I was in 4th grade I did more pull ups than the boys during our fitness test. And swimming was a part of my identity. I was Mallory: sister, daughter, student, friend, great butterflier and IM'er. I had a shirt that said: "Eat, Sleep, Drink, Swim" and that's pretty much what I did. (I also had one that said "Kiss my wake"...I was so cool).

When we got to middle school there was some sort of political situation with the team (the board wanted to get rid of one of the coaches) and the team was fractured because of this. My parents gave my brother and me the choice to stop swimming if we wanted to. We were in middle school. Friends were what mattered most. We both stopped swimming.

After a couple years off I joined the high school team. My 10 year old self could have beat the pants off of me, but by high school swim team standards I was good. I swam all four years and made some good friends. My brothers and I also got gigs as lifeguards. My older bro and I gave lessons and advanced to head guards. Our little bro has surpassed us both and now manages a pool.

So, now you can see why water is so important to me. The only down side to swimming is that you have to have access to a pool to do it. I wish I could swim more. When you first dive in there is just this awesome peace that envelopes you. Before you break the surface it's just you and the water. No noise, nobody needing your attention...you don't need to do anything but remember to eventually come up for air.

Swimming taught me a lot of things. I learned about keeping commitments. I learned about being a team player. I learned about always bringing my best to the table. I learned that my parents would always be there to watch me and support me. I learned the importance of practice. I learned how to work with people I didn't necessarily like. I built confidence in myself. I found peace.

Maybe one day Reed will be a swimmer. Maybe not. But either way, I hope he finds something that impacts his life like swimming has impacted mine.

All Good Things Come to an End

Alas...my first summer break is over. I am now officially back at work. This would be a lot more sad if I was heading back to a job I hate, so I am super grateful that I actually like my job. Reed was excited to see his babysitter and her toys and I'm sure we'll fall back into our August-May routine with ease.

The second half of our break went well. It was so nice that this summer was not filled with scorching hot days. I'm a baby when it comes to being outside in that kind of weather, so pleasant days meant a lot more outside time for Reed. We played at the playground almost daily.
Reed encountered a boy one day who was having a hard time sharing his trucks. The next day Reed told me he wanted to bring some trucks to the park so that he could share them. He picked out a couple and I put them in the stroller. As soon as we got to the park he grabbed the toys and sought out some "friends" to share with. It was super cute to see him encouraging others to play with his toys and even showing them how they worked. He continued to bring trucks to the park for the rest of the summer and made quite a few friends as he shared them. I love his kind heart.

So, I didn't mention it in the last post because I didn't want to be making a mountain out of a molehill and I feared that saying something would only cause my anxiety to grow. Anyway, as you may remember Reed had 2 eye surgeries when he was a baby (one at 5 months, one at 10 months) to correct something called strabismus (his is a mild case for sure). As follow up to these surgeries we go to the eye center at Children's Hospital every 6 months or so. Most of the time we meet with a regular doctor, but every now and then we meet with his surgeon. Last week we had an appointment with the surgeon. I was nervous because over the past few months I have noticed that Reed's right eye has been mis-aligning itself quite often and I was afraid he would tell me we need to do another surgery. He did agree that his left eye is showing some vertical misalignment, but he doesn't want to jump into surgery just yet. He explained to me that Reed's previous surgeries were done to correct horizontal misalignment and that it's not uncommon for some vertical misalignment to occur as the child grows older. Luckily, as of now, Reed's is very slight and could correct itself. We will wait a couple months and go back to have him checked out in October. If at that time it hasn't improved, we will probably have to start patching his left eye so that he will be forced to use his right eye more which can sometimes make it stronger and correct the misalignment. The doctor did note that Reed does seem to be favoring his left eye and he wants to make sure that this doesn't turn into something more serious (both eyes need to be depended on equally or depth perception can be affected).
Anyway, all that to say that there isn't anything to be worried about yet. I am grateful for a surgeon who doesn't immediately jump to surgery as the only option. I am grateful that he wants to exhaust his other options and see if Reed's body will make the correction on its own before attempting to fix it himself. I am also grateful for a pediatrician who was able to catch this when Reed was only 4 months old so that we have been able to get and stay ahead of this and that Reed's vision has not been compromised because of it. While surgery is always scary (even routine ones) there is a lot to be grateful for here.

Here are some pics!

 After a few days of rain, celebrating a sunny day!

 Cousin love. 

 Who says you can't go for a run in the rain? 

Reed loves looking at Papa's bat collection.....

So Papa helped him start one of his own!

                                         

  Reed says this is a picture of Grandma Rhonda. In fact, she is the topic of most of his drawings.

 Playing at Uncle Tyler's pool.

 Sharing trucks with friends at the park.

 Playing the drums and singing ABC's in front of adoring fans at the park.

Mowing the lawn. 

Celebrating our last day of summer break with a cupcake and a sweet drink. 

Here's to a new school year! When can I start counting down the days until Winter break? ;)

Summer So Far

We're half way through the summer now so I figured my loyal readers are probably itching for an update on how it's been so far.

Reed and I have been having a lot of fun. We took a 4 week class at the Botanical Gardens called Little Sprouts. The class is for 2-3 year olds. Each week we explored a different habitat in the Gardens. We explored ponds, the forest, the prairie, and vegetable gardens! The kiddos were invited to participate in making a craft each week that went a long with the habitat as well. We were also sent home with 2 different plants and some lettuce to grow. Reed seemed to enjoy it and still sings the class song from time to time.

Reed is the kind of kid that needs to be doing. He can't just sit around the house for too long without going a bit crazy and he also thrives on routine, so that's challenged me to be a bit creative. Every morning we leave the house around 8am to run to the park. Once there, Reed gets to play on the playground for 30-45 minutes before we run back home. At home we play outside in the grass with some trucks or color on the front porch (on paper with crayons, and other times the actual porch with chalk). Sometimes, if it's too hot, we'll do a craft in the house (Reed made Dad a pretty cool painting for Father's Day). I also take Reed grocery shopping with me and he's a pretty good little helper. Thankfully, my busy mornings are usually rewarded with a 2-3 hour break each afternoon as Reed naps (and let's be honest...sometimes I do too). 

We've also been to the zoo with some friends (where I almost lost Reed...terrifying), out to lunch with Pop, to Dad's office, and to the movie theater. Future plans include a trip or two to Uncle Tyler's pool, the children's garden at the Botanical Gardens, a play date with some good friends, and a weekend with Papa and Pat while Dad and I take a short trip to Chicago. 

Reed is currently really enjoying getting to watch a couple episodes of The Magic School Bus or Busytown Mysteries each day. He likes to have me read, "Grandma Rhonda's book" at least once each morning and he is super interested in trucks of any kind. He loves to help dad with yard work and help me with vacuuming. 

Reed is working on mastering his colors right now. You'll roll your eyes, but there was a time when I feared he might be color blind. My fear was not unfounded though as Dane's gpa was color blind and Reed catches on to everything else so quickly. However, I believe that we've recently had a breakthrough. Last week I started to really pump the colors into like everything I said with Reed, "Look at the red truck." "Wow, the grass sure is green." "Your shirt is blue today." Then, I upped the anty. His dessert this week was 10  M n M's. Before he ate them I would say what color they were and ask him to help me. We've gotten to a point where Reed is able to point to the color if we ask him to, but his confidence wanes a bit when asked to say what color something is. He usually goes to his default answer..."Pink!" So, we're like half way there. He can identify the color when asked to point to it but doesn't always get it right when asked to tell you what color something is. Progress!

Now for some pics:

 Yard work with Dad.

 Playground.

 Movie theater.

 Botanical Gardens.

 Coffee and crossword.

 Dad and his awesome painting.

 Lunch with Pop.

 Best donuts around.

Grandma Rhonda's book. 

Can I Pray Away My Crazy?

Two posts in one week?!?!? You guys are so lucky.
I know this is a blog primarily about my son, but I love to write and often am able to sort through my thoughts when I can put pen to paper (or fingers to keys in this case).
Most of you know that I am a mental health counselor at a Christian college. Today marks the last day of my first school year here and I've had some time to reflect on some of the stuff I've learned. One of the things that came up more than once this year was this statement:
"I was hesitant to come to counseling because I thought that if I just prayed enough I would start to feel better."
I've also had students flat out ask:
"As a Christian, how do you explain/see mental illness?"
So, I wanted to share with my vast readership my thoughts on this.
Let me give you some background (bear with me)...
Yes, I am a Christian. I grew up in a Christian home and went to a Christian college (the very one I work at now). I chose at a young age to follow Christ and through the trial of losing my mom realized just how important it is to store my hope in Him. It was through this season of watching my mom suffer from cancer and eventually pass away from it that I found my calling to pursue a career in the mental health field. This has taken many turns. I started out with the plan become a guidance counselor at a middle school. After completing a short practicum with a play therapist I decided that I wanted to be a therapist. I graduated with a degree in psychology and began a Master's in Social Work program the following fall. In my last semester I decided that I love the world of education and that being a school social worker was what I wanted to pursue. I first worked with a company that did school based group therapy for students identified as high risk for substance abuse. Then I began work as a school social worker at a start-up charter school in the city of St. Louis. That was tough work! During this time I completed the licensure process to become a clinical social worker which would allow me to be a therapist.
As I was growing more and more frustrated with the school I was working at and feeling less and less hopeful that a school social work job would become available at another school in St. Louis, I checked GC's job listings on a whim. And wouldn't you know it? They were looking for a new counselor.
I fully believe that God has called me to not only be a counselor, but to be a counselor at GC.
Now that you know the background I can share with you why I believe in the importance of mental health care providers. Yes, it's how I get paid, but it's so much more than that.
Let me first say that I do believe in the power of prayer. Can someone simply pray and pray sincerely and faithfully that God will take their burden of mental illness away? Certainly. And I believe that in some cases, He will. But is mental illness a direct result of sin in a person's life? No. Do you think that cancer is? Or any other physical disability?
I do believe that pain and suffering and illness in general are all a result of man's sinful nature. We sin and have therefore fallen short of the Glory of God. We are corrupt and as sin has entered our world, bad things do happen...even to good people. But the good news here is that God has placed on earth people who He has called to help those who are struggling (physically, mentally, academically, etc.). Since I believe that I have been called to help people who are suffering mentally I do NOT believe that what I do is unnecessary. God has given me a gift of not only sympathizing with others but empathizing. In fact, my top spiritual gift is Mercy, with Discernment not too far behind. These mean that I am compassionate, a quick judge of character, and discern the needs of others well. Sound like great qualities to have in a counselor to me!
So, to boil this down, I believe that mental illness is real and that therapists are people who God has provided to help those in need. I also believe that prayer and drawing nearer to Him are absolutely necessary in order for someone to achieve complete healing and peace. He is the Prince of Peace, after all.
In my opinion, counseling alone will not bring you the freedom from mental illness you desire. Sometimes you need medication. Sometimes you need to make better decisions about your lifestyle and who you surround yourself with. And at all times you need to be praying and seeking a closer relationship with the ultimate Healer.

***interested in finding your own spiritual gifts? take this free online test. took me about 10 mins. http://www.spiritualgiftstest.com/index.html 
 

In the Midst of Rolling Prairies...

This weekend I participated in the 2013 graduation ceremony at GC. In 2007 I participated as a graduate, so it was fun for me to be on the other side of it, joining in on the celebration from the viewpoint of an employee.
I don't remember much from my graduation. I have no idea who spoke or what honors were awarded to which students. I don't even think I attended my baccalaureate. The one thing that I do remember (and don't think I'll ever forget) was that after we had gotten lined up and began our walk across campus for the last time as students, our professors and staff were lined up on either side of the walkway clapping for us. It was so special and surprising to walk through this tunnel made up of people I admired and had learned from for the past 4 years...and they were so clearly proud of me and clapping for my accomplishments! I'm sure I fought back tears.
So, this year I got to be a part of that clapping tunnel as a member of the GC team. It was awesome! And to make it that much sweeter, my sister in law, Darci, was the very last graduate to walk through. As she approached me I was able to step out of my place in the tunnel and give her a hug.
Speaking of Darci...I am so proud of that girl. I met Darci when she was just barely 13 years old, quiet, and  reserved. Now she is a  young woman who speaks up for what she believes in and leads others quietly and assuredly. She graduated with a double major in History/Political Science and Social Work. She was in the honor societies for both and graduated magna cum laude. In addition to being a stellar student she was a four year athlete, an RC, and member of a team that work with a young autistic boy in the community almost daily. She was a TA and member of the student senate as well. I'm not sure what she didn't do and I'm super  proud of her accomplishments. In August she will begin a Master's in Social Work program and in September she will marry her high school sweetheart.
Speaking of her high school sweetheart...Trevor also graduated this year with several honors. He too was a double major in Communications and History/Poli Sci. He too graduated magna cum laude and was a member of both of his major's honor societies. He completed and successfully defended an honors thesis and was a member of the honors program here at GC. He too was a four year athlete and ran the 10k at Christian Nationals this year. He was on student government and involved in other things that I'm sure I'm missing.
Aren't they just two peas in a pod? And they are both so humble too. I'm super excited about their wedding and eager to see where God leads them.
And a final clarification...a few people, seeing me in my graduation regalia, told me "Congratulations!" or said, "You graduated too?" No, I did not graduate. Employees participating in the ceremony are asked to wear their regalia. Academia if full of tradition and symbolism, so what we wear represents our education. I wear a funny gown that has fins or wings on the sleeves (a great place to stash a cell phone) to represent having a Master's degree and a hood whose colors represent my degree (Social Work) and school (SIUE). The yellow cord I wear represents that I graduated with honors. I don't have to wear this, but I earned it...so, why not? I opted not to wear my cap so as not to be mistaken for a 12 year old boy.

 Trevor, me, Darci

 Reed was super excited to see Uncle Trevor and Aunt Darci. He thought Papa's hat was pretty cool, too. 

See? Here he is wearing Papa's hat. Maybe one day he will be Dr. Sample.

Congrats to the GC grads of 2013 and special congrats to my favorites, Darci and Trev. Love you guys. Now, should we all sing the Alma Mater next time we get together? Hail all Hail, Greenville! 

I Know It's Not Father's Day, But...

I realize that it isn't Father's Day, however, I've just been feeling super blessed in regards to the men in mine and Reed's lives lately and I felt the urge to deliver a shout out a bit early.

It makes sense to me to start with the guy who set the standard of what a guy should be in my life. I call him Dad, Daddio, Faja, Pops, (yes, I'm a dork, but that's a discussion for another time). He also goes by Papa to his three sweet grandkids. My dad is super awesome. Here are just a few of the countless reasons why...

• He assigned funny nicknames to me and my brothers when we were young. My older brother was "Bonzi Boy", I was "Baby Cakes", and my little bro was "Moon Doggie " I have no idea where he came up with these names and mine was the only one that stuck.
• He used to be a paramedic so he knows a lot about medical stuff and doesn't freak out if you break your wrist, for instance. 
• He attended every swim meet, baseball game, cross country meet, football game, wrestling meet, choir/band concert...well, you get the picture. He was at everything. He was often times the coach of the team, but even when not the official coach, he was our coach. 
•  Every time I go to his office there are more pictures of his kids and grandkids. He is clearly quite proud of us all. 
• He reads for fun.
• One time, I locked the keys to my car/dorm in the trunk of my car after returning to campus from a weekend at home. It was a Sunday night. My dad had to work the next day. I called him, upset and embarrassed. He told me he'd be there in an hour to unlock my car. No complaints. No hard feelings. No guilt trip. He just showed up. He always shows up.  
• He loves the Lord and shared that love with his kids and now his grandkids. He is always trying to be the best man of God he can be. He doesn't worry because he has complete peace that the Lord has gone before him and will always meet his needs. 
• He loved my mom in the best kind of way.

He's pretty awesome, right?

Now on to Reed's dad and my main squeeze, Dane. Again, I got pretty lucky in the husband/father-of-my-child department.

• Dane is the calm to my worry. 
• He is the relaxed to my uptight. 
• He is the slightly-less-introverted to my very introverted. 
• In many ways he balances me.
• One of the biggest things that Dane does for me is letting me "sleep in" on Saturdays. Ever since we brought Reed home from the hospital, Dane has been the one to get up with him every Saturday morning. I don't know how this started and I don't know why he does it. I get to stay in bed while he gets up around 6 am, makes Reed scrambled eggs, and watches some morning cartoons (usually Caillou, which is yet another sacrifice). I am not bothered to get out of bed until close to 8 am. I have no idea why he gives me this gift (because it truly is a gift) but it's one that I appreciate so very much. 
• He makes me laugh. Even when I don't want to. 
• He's a good guy to have in your corner. 
• He doesn't try to make me be someone I'm not ("he loves me for me" sounds a bit too corny, but is basically what I mean)
• He does the dishes and cleans the bathroom (jealous?)

He's such a great dad, too.

• He is willing to learn and grow as a parent as Reed learns and grows. 
• He loves teaching Reed new things and spending time with him outdoors. 
• He reads with Reed.
• He gives Reed his bath every night. 
• He gets down on the floor with him. 
• He loves Reed so much and is sad when he is sad.
• He gets so excited thinking of the adventures they can have together as Reed gets older. 
• He prays with Reed and invites Reed to pray. 
• He admits when he is wrong and apologizes when necessary. 

Reed is a lucky guy to have such a wonderful Daddy...

I could continue writing about all the other great men in our lives but I am afraid I might leave someone out and offend them. Suffice it to say that they are a plenty. We have been richly blessed with examples of self-less, smart, caring, funny, talented, Godly men. I can't even begin to express my thankfulness. Both mine and Reed's lives have been so greatly influenced by a host of these wonderful men. It warms my heart to the core. I wish I had pictures of them all, but here are a few...

 

Thank you guys for not only investing in my life but in my son's life as well.